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If your R or dplyr work is taking what you consider to be a too long (seconds instead of instant, or minutes instead of seconds, or hours instead of minutes, or a day instead of an hour) then try data.table.

For some tasks data.table is routinely faster than alternatives at pretty much all scales (example timings here).

If your project is large (millions of rows, hundreds of columns) you really should rent an an Amazon EC2 r4.8xlarge (244 GiB RAM) machine for an hour for about \$2.13 (quick setup instructions here) and experience speed at scale.